Mobility and Granpa
[Frederica Mathewes-Green  02/23 11:23 AM]

I guess mobility, rather than stability, has always been an American theme — often due to economic reasons (black migration north in the 30s) or ecomonic based in agricultural changes (Dust Bowl), but the majority of us on this list come from stock that, at one time or another, said goodbye to stability in Europe and set off for the New World. For most of history, most people have lived in very entrenched stability, but you could argue that good sometimes comes from mobility; I'm grateful that St. Paul, for example, hit the road.

At our particular moment we're at a very curious generational shift. While Baby Boomers could not wait to shake the dust off their feet, their twentysomething children are closely attached to their parents. Boomers expected their kids to rebel in turn, and are so uncomfortable with authority that ad campaigns have to prompt them to do their job ("Parents: the Anti-Drug," "Talk to your kids about sex; everyone else does.") .

But surveys show that today's newly-adult children admire their parents and want to be near them. Newsweek, a year ago, found that 48% of twentysomethings are in contact with their parents, by phone or email, every day. There is no generation gap. We shouldn't underestimate the role of popular culture in this; everyone, from 16 to 60, is watching the same movies and TV shows, listening to the same music.

That wasn't true in the 50s and 60s. There's was lots wrong with the 50's that goes unremarked. There was a tone of postwar bitterness, alienation, and cynicism that we don't catch in looking back. Adults themselves stressed the separation of the generations. I won't make a list here, but its enough to notice that intense, suburban, sterile, biodome 50's child-rearing resulted in 60's teenagers.

Now it looks like a new stability is arising. Young people want to be near their parents. I socialize more with my twentysomething children than with anyone my own age. We all regularly daydream about finding a plot of land where we could build homes near each other. All three of the kids are married, and — this must be a record — two of them at present live across the street from their spouse's parents.

Time will tell what this new stability means. But I think it's possible that the next crop of granpas will be better cared for than the current one, because the bonds of genuine affection between parent and child are stronger.

The downside to all this closeness is the phenomenon of "Failure to Launch:" twentysomethings move home after college and just stay there, frozen. Artificially-extended adolescents please the economy and spend lots of disposable income, but the experience itself is pretty depressing (see "Garden State"). My crackpot idea is that we should encourage a return to young marriage, around 18 or 20. This is what biology seems to indicate. It's completely unnatural for kids to remain chaste for a decade or more after puberty — an attempt to fight God's design, which is never a wise idea. (A couple of years ago NRO kindly published my essay, "Let's Have More Teen Pregnancy.") While we're thinking of how we can do right by Granpa, let's keep in mind getting kids to complete their childhood and get started on adult life. The two fit together. I'm 53, and already have 7 grandchildren. When I'm 80, I expect somebody is going to be in a position to take care of me.