I'd just like to point out how new this really is. Right up through the 50's kids, for example, were rarely alone. They didn't need to be carted from organized activity to organized activity, instead running out into the neighborhood. And their parents were not afraid for them, in part because they were certain other adults in the neighborhood would keep an eye on them, correct them if need be, and be obeyed. What today is called a busybody (or worse) used to be a decent neighbor. Sound creepy? Not if you actually KNEW the person; they were, to pick up on one of Caleb's points, friends of a sort, even if not your closest friends.

And Americans didn't suddenly decide this was creepy and do away with it.
Instead, we allowed it to die, by sending all the moms to work (making them feel useless if they didn't go) and by "professionalizing" all the other work moms used to do. Most of society, from the local library to the museum and even the school, used to be largely in the hands of so-called "homemakers." In fact, women were more "community makers" in that they ran all the civil institutions that literally civilized our lives. Now we demand a specialized degree and a salary (pathetically small though it be) for every job. This hasn't made our libraries, etc. better or more respected, far from it. But it has destroyed the fabric of familiarity, friendship and, yes, social pressure that once helped us civilize our kids (and ourselves). We once, not so long ago, knew one another well enough to be able to point out our foibles, now we can't even live differently without it being taken for an insult and an intrusion. Sad is what it is.

Of course, the picture we have of this old society is one of nasty old people beating anyone who got out of line. But it needn't be that way. For example, my wife and I send our oldest (6 year-old) to an independent Catholic school. We rejected the other schools in the area as either too corrupting or too punitive. But our school believes in joy — limits, yes, but also joy. And I think a big reason for this is the fact that it is run and staffed by people dedicated specifically to this school, which they started out of a desire to bring joy back into an orthodox learning environment — and to the fact that volunteering is a key part of the parental commitment.

This brings social pressure with it, but isn't that much of what community, any real life lived in common with anybody at all, is about?